Still
I still dream of you.
I see you behind closed eyelids, even when I can’t see you through open ones. I see us walking together
in Russia. You are wearing a blue
cloak and I a brown... leaving footprints in the snow. Going where? I don’t know.
Doesn’t seem to matter.
I see us standing on a golden platform hung by golden chains
in the perfect balance. We are
both radiant blue light beings wrapped in an embrace that every heart yearns
for.
I still dream of you.
Even though I have cut the cords between us over and over again. You still come back. I see us in a hotel lobby. I am doing reflexology for your lovely
companion. I am doing energy work
to encourage her path. And when I
leave I am overwhelmed with my own life and collapse outside. You come and remove the blockage in my
solar plexus and I am able to continue onward.
I see us together as the fool and the world. I see us together underground. Perhaps it was a vapor cave of some
sort. In so many places, I see us.
I still dream of you.
I also still hear from you.
Not in any physical way. I
hear your voice in my head, like so many spirits I’ve talked to before
you. You always come in your pure,
true, loving self. You come with
comfort and advice. Sometimes you
come just to tell me or show me a joke to make me laugh. You visit me a lot. Did you know that?
I try to tell you to go. I tell you that you don’t really want to be here or you
would be here physically as well.
But you don’t go. Even now
I can feel your presence. I tell
you to leave. I tell you that I
have cut the cords and that I have done everything I can to separate myself
from you. So you leave for a few
days only to return again... to my secret glee and to my hearts lament.
I dream of you.
Yet, I have let everything go. I will
not hold on to you despite your strange hold on me. I will let "what is" be what is. I trust things are as they should be and I will learn to
float through what life presents as a pianists fingers float over the keys of
an arpeggio.
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