Break. Free.

Hiding from the masses

Afraid of distastas

Hiding in the mix of pillows, sheets and skin.

Hoping I can mask this

Frail human task list

Hoping no one asks to look in.

I’m scared shitless

I’m freaked the fuck out

I’ve created a shit list

So I can begin to back out

We live out lives with the purpose of avoiding pain

Fearfully we’re seeking comfort, security, and gain

Don’t risk it! they say

Don’t fall off the cliff; don’t even think about jumping

Jump!

The wind in your hair,

Life then caresses your skin so fair

Breathless and free

Jumping off a cliff near the sea

Picture perfect and serene

Is it worth the risk to be free?

The sun setting on the edge of the earth

Staining the sky in deep gold, yellow and red

You’re so close to being dead

You’re falling close enough to taste the meaning of life.

Close to death makes life more bright.

But don’t risk it, they say.

Well, I say....

They’re scared shitless too.

But Why?

Why is it that to live is advised against?

Why is it that we allow ourselves to be forced to live in this false pretense?

Why is it that to love is to kiss the pitchfork of death?

Why is it that to risk success you’ll be devoured by wolves?

Why is it that in order to break free, I must break first?

Break.

Break. 

Snap. 

Crack.

Break.  Fall.  Splat.

Break. 

Break. 

Free?

And see

The real me

If I don’t first break

Free

Is that what scares me?

Me?

Me scares me.

Is that why I’m freaked the fuck out?

A grand adventure awaits

I’m choosing to live one of my dreams

I’m choosing to do it now and not to wait

For the perfect scenario to make it all seem...

Safe.

I’m stepping out in faith

That’s the purpose of the wedding band

On my left hand...

You know...

It serves as my reminder

I bought myself my wedding ring

Last July as a symbol of one main thing.

I was saving my money because I was afraid of being broke

I was desperate to marry because I was afraid I couldn’t cope

I needed a man to be my brains, money, comfort and hope

God told me to spend my money on a wedding ring

Do you trust me?  He says...

Do you trust that I am the one to take care of you?

The way you want a man to?

Yes, I said.

Then spend half your money on a wedding band

Become my queen

And I’ll give you everything.

So I did.

Now I choose to live as my ring states I believe...

That’s what gets me.

Live life in the fast lane.

On the edge of disasters

And then move even faster.

You may call it stupid

You may call me too risky

But I’m going to do it

And I’m going to be frisky

You can say I’m dumb

But this is what I call freedom

I’m choosing to jump!

I’ll jump off the cliff and land in the sea

I’m looking at the beauty and learning to love ME

I’m learning to shirk my umbrella and dance in the rain.

I’m choosing love lost is also love gained

I’m kissing the pitchfork and embracing the siege

I’m lying with the wolves and listening to them breathe

I’ve dared to dream

I’ve dared to scheme

I’ve dared to believe there’s more to life than just me.

So here I go.

I’m choosing to live out my dreams one dream at a time.

One jump at a time

Here I go

One break... and freedom’s mine!