Oh gosh..... .... .... ... . .. . .....

Most Embarrassing Story of My Week

At the Bistro.  The Bistro is a classy, upscale tapas restaurant by night and a fun social gathering coffee shop by day.  Thursday night.  The place is dead.  Paula and I are sitting down at one of the tables eating some lobster raviolis that needed to be eaten up.  Delicious raviolis.  Well, actually the homemade alfredo sauce is the most delicious part about them.  I could be eating low rung raviolis and it would still taste amazing!  We’ve been open for an hour.  Paula and I are done eating and are talking about life and complaining about stupid people.  Then laughing about this, that or the other thing.  It’s nice.

I have to use the bathroom.  I can feel pressure building in both “#1 and #2”.  It’s getting bad but sometimes I’m too lazy to walk my butt to the bathroom.  Though, it would be nice to use it before a customer comes in and I get too busy to sneak away to “drop some kids off at the pool”.  So I get up and help clear off the table we use and because I’m lazy I decide to use the customer bathroom rather than walk the 15 steps to the staff bathroom in the back.

I sit down and a gush of pee comes pouring out and quickly to follow, there’s a couple splashes.  The bathroom is flooded with the smells of the food processed through a human digestive system.  Ahhh!  Gotta love it!  No sooner do I notice the stink do I hear the bell ring on the front door.  Of course, I think to myself, they come in as soon as I decide to relieve myself.  I look up and notice that my door isn’t locked.  Better lock that.  I reach up and go for the button to push the lock.

To my horror, the door opens before I can push the button!!!  A big man that I’ve never seen before pops his head around the door to come in.  Uh!! Oh! Sorry, ‘scuse me, I mutter.  His eyes pop out of his head and he quickly shuts the door.  Oh my god!  I lock the door.  I have to serve him food later... crap.  Speaking of crap the bathroom smells of crap too, and there’s no way to get the smell out very quick.

I finish my business and wash my hands and head out of the bathroom.  Making sure to turn on the fan and shut the door on my way out.  I see him standing at the counter waiting for service.  Sorry.  We both say to each other when our eyes meet.  Then he realizes that I am his server.  I’m positive this guy is not impressed with me at all!!  And to my horror, again, he walks back to the bathroom.  It stinks in there.  Women only fart roses and butterfly’s right... well not this woman.  God I was so embarrassed!  Oh man.  Facepalm!

Lesson = always ALWAYS use the staff bathroom!!!  ESPECIALLY when you are going to stink it up!!!  Ugh.... lol